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Level 1 Blank Slate
Ranked as Civilian
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the last week of my life sucked ass, seriously:
MONDAY: girl destroys my bike and threatens to fight me in the middle of the job over snapchat. i spend my last little bit of money on a pack of cigarettes i cannot smoke because on
TUESDAY: i caught the flu. i was at work for 10 or so hours in 3 shirts and a jacket in front of the fry station freezing to death. nearly got fired for throwing my headset and shouting i can't take orders anymore/quitting hard
WEDNESDAY: the guy i was living with smoked almost all my cigarettes, called me a little bitch when i called him out on it and kicked me out with a destroyed bike, 4 bags and a guitar on my bike. then i walked all this stuff an hour away to my mom's house and got stung by a bee. then i dropped one of the bags that had my ID, debit card, sketchbook, lotion, toothbrush, anything important you name it i dropped it.
THURSDAY: walked 2 hours to work. worked with the girl i have a huge crush on. she drove me home and bought me a black and mild. overall an OK day. the calm before the storm. i should have realized.
FRIDAY: the girl i like's last day of work before leaving for college that sunday. i brushed all of the above off to try and make it a good day for everybody. at first, it was okay, then she literally picked me up and threw me out the store (the doors are locked). i had to climb in through the drive thru window and i messed my knee up pretty badly. after all this "flirting" and fucking around she gives me the last ride home she'll ever give me (she's been giving me rides for like 2 weeks now), and so i figure since im never going to see her again im going to try and tell her how much i appreciate her being such a good person when everyone in my life has been shitty. for being there for me when my mom kicked me out and hearing me out when i had no one else to really turn to. for giving me a ride when i would otherwise have to walk 2 hours. for singing no scrubs by TLC with me and the other little moments that made me really like her. and for knowing i liked her for like 2 months and never being awkward or weird abouut it. and for just being overall really fucking cool about everything.
then she flipped shit. as soon as i started talking she cut me off, told me she knew what i was going to say (i guess she thought i was so lame and pathetic i would break down and profess my love for her lol), and if i spoke anymore she'd throw me out the car. thinking she was joking, i tried to continue, but she actually slowed the fuck down and i shut up real fast. she was my last real friend. the last person in my life who i didn't want to fuck me over and hang me up to dry but it happened and i completely shut down that car ride. the last thing i ever said to her was "have a nice life" and the last thing she ever said to me was "you're forgetting something"
i'll never forget the look on her face when i reached back in to grab my hoodie. pure pity. pure fucking pity. and it broke my heart because everyone wants to give you pity but no one ever wants to hear you out or not be an asshole or not fuck you over, but when they do and they realize it they give you this look that breaks your heart because it makes you feel so fucking small. i never felt smaller. i was completely dead on
SATURDAY: i told my mom my greivances and she gave me the standard "get over it, the grass is greener on the other side" bullshit. today is monday. i have no money, half of a black and mild and i haven't eaten but im still up and about and dressed for work and waiting for my ride and praying that someone really fucking amazing enters my life soon so i don't have to deal with all the people who fucked me over everyday alone.
so that's my update go fuck yourselves until next time <3333