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Level 1 Blank Slate
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so everyone at my job h8s muh guts. it really was only a matter of time before i stopped putting on a facade. i felt like i was dumbing myself down for the people there, laughing at their terrible jokes and generally excusing them for being grown cunts whose maturity level rivaled an episode of sesame street. why? because i was alone. they made me feel like i belonged, but it wasn't i who belonged, it was who i drew up, does that make sense? basically i work with a bunch of black people who are lazy and i can't take being lazy anymore.
i go there angry everyday. they take one look at me and they either laugh or they give me the space i need. the latter rarely happens anymore. i am just one walking joke to them. laugh at me. i gave them permission a few weeks ago to laugh and gear up for when i leave them high and dry in the next coming months. they made the mistake of relying on me way too much, and then disrespecting me. now i will soon be in a position where i can really fuck up a week or two by not being there for them when they need me. in the upcoming months i will finally see to it that this crew gets its just desserts. fuck them.
so i applied to a new job full of new black people and hopefully they will be even more lazy so i can be lazy as well and still get pizzaid.
also my heartbreaks every monday and tuesday and wednesday but i don't want to talk about that here